Creating a Healthier Me

Weigh In

2010-06-17T15:57:00.002-04:00

I know I'm slightly late but i weighed in Monday at 175. Half way through the 170's!

Weigh In

2010-06-07T14:40:00.001-04:00

This morning I weighed in at 176!

Back Injury

2010-06-03T22:42:00.000-04:00

The day I turned 30, I injured my back. I was bending over putting on my daughters shoes and sweater and when I stood back up - incredible pain. For 3 days I was literally walking like an old woman, hunched over and slow. It hurt to go up stairs, it hurt to carry my baby, it hurt to do anything. That was a Wednesday. By Monday I was feeling almost normal so I decided to go to the gym. I did my usual 1:1 running and went super easy on the weight machines and even skipped the ones where I used my back. That night, I was in incredible pain again. This time it took about a week and a half to feel better. The original back injury occured 3 weeks ago and even tonight, I am still not pain free. It is incredibly depressing. As you can read by my last post, I was at a point where I was so motivated. I was losing consistant weight again. I was working out hard. I was eating healthy. I was feeling like my body was strong.

Needless to say, my eating suffered. I had a few moments where I ate my frustration. Probably more than a few moments. I obviously stopped going to the gym. For me, I exercise and my healthy eating follows. Putting the effort into a workout makes me want to eat healthy in order to not "waste" that workout. Taking the exercise out of the equation caused my eating to go haywire. I can't tell you how many times I told myself that if I don't exercise I could still lose weight if I stick to my caloric intake. It is totally possible. More often than not, I ignored myself.

This week has been a turnaround. I've gone to the gym twice. Tonight I even ran 2 minutes, walked 1 for 21 minutes and then continued to walk for another 30 minutes at a 2.0 incline. I've gotten back into my healthy eating (mostly). I weighed in this week at 179. One pound gain is not too shabby for me. I was seriously expecting way worse. With 4 weeks left of mat leave, I'm hoping I can make the most of it.

One Month later....

2010-05-10T13:43:00.000-04:00

Funny how you don't realize how much time has gone by since you last posted until you log on :o)

Today I weighed in at 178. I was literally smiling all the way to the gym. And who smiles on the way to the gym????? My BMI is 29.6. Yeppers, I have gone from being Obese to simply Overweight. I never thought I'd be thrilled to see "overweight" but I also never imagined I'd be considered obese.

A few things have changed in a big way for me.

1) Started jogging. Also something I never thought I would do but 2 weeks ago I was watching The Biggest Loser (side note: totally inspirational show but they should put it on in the morning so that you are motivated throughout the day and not as you go to bed) and 350 lb Mike was jogging. It inspired me so much that I started jogging the next time I was at the gym. I thought if he can do it, why can't I? This morning I did 1 minute walking, 1 minute jogging for 22 minutes. It was tough but I made it through. I did something that I never thought I'd be able to do and man, does it feel good!

2) I started getting weekly deliveries of Fruits & Veggies from Ottawa Organics. This has kept me on track SO much. My husband was very weary of it since it is a bit pricier than getting regular 'ol vegetables from the supermarket. He warned me that if things started going bad, we had to cancel. So instead of having a not so healthy snack, I grab a peach or apple or some other piece of fruit. This morning I even made watermelon juice. This afternoon I'm having a wonderful lettuce, arugula, basil salad. I can really attribute this company for the success I've had in the past 2 weeks.

Post Trip

2010-04-14T10:24:00.000-04:00

OK, it has taken me awhile but here I am updating after my Punta Cana trip. Before leaving I had reached 182. The day after arriving home I was 190. Yuck. But considering I had planned on a 10lb weight gain I was OK with that number. Thank goodness most of that weight was water weight. Within a couple of days I was down to 186 and I am now currently at 184. The horrible thing about arriving home (besides leaving the Dominican!) was that we went right into Easter weekend. Which means that after a week of eating and drinking to my hearts content, I was faced with turkey dinners and chocolate. I will be very honest. I was bad. Super bad. I continued to eat to my hearts content.

I turned over a new leaf on Monday. Enough was enough. I made my steel cut oats for breakfast for the week and took a batch of homemade turkey soup out of the freezer for lunches. Yesterday, including a night at the gym and two leisurely walks with the kids, I dusted off the Wii Fit and did 20 minutes during nap time. No, I didn't do the fun little balance games. I did the cycling, hula hooping and running. Today, I will fit in another 20 minutes on the Wii. No gym but I will make sure I enjoy this weather outdoors with the kids being physical.

Is anyone else like this? I go to the gym and I look at everyone walking by while I am on the bike or weight machines. I see thin, fit people and I wonder what it feels like to look like that. I know ALOT of women who suffer with weight gain after having kids (or hitting 30) but I have never, ever been thin. EVER. Unless you count 12 yrs old and I sure don't. Will I ever have the opportunity to feel that feeling? I hope so. My days are numbered on Mat leave so I want to make the most of it. Let's be honest ladies. Working 40 hours per week and being with your kids after that really sucks your energy. I know it will be hard so the less I have to lose after I start back at work, the better.

Breakthrough

2010-03-11T13:35:00.000-05:00

I haven't updated in two weeks. There has been a reason for that. I haven't budged. I haven't been perfect but I've done OK and yet not even a pound. I've been sort of frustrated with it and instead of coming on here and writing a Why Me? post, I've just stayed away until I had happier news.

Last night I sort of had an AHA moment. My closet is full of clothes of all different sizes. I really could be a retail store. As I've been losing weight, I've been getting rid of all the big clothes. So the clothes are slowly dwindling. The current pair of jeans I am wearing are a Levi size 17 (damn sizing, my last pair were 16's!). I tried them on multiple times around Christmas/New Years and I could wear them but have some serious muffin tops. After I slimmed out of my other ones, I HAD to wear these Levi's or be stuck in jogging pants every day. I realized lately that these muffin top jeans are now too loose. I need a belt every day. They sit beautifully on my hips. The legs are baggy. Whoa. All this and I've only lost 4 pounds since before Christmas. So I decide to try on some pants that are a size 14 in my closet. A pair of black GAP cords that I plumped out of after about 3 wears. I did try them on about 2 months ago and the zipper had about an inch before it could close. And what do you suppose????

I could do them up!!!!!!

They definitely aren't looking pretty on me but that is besides the point. They actually did up. A size 14!!!!

The moral of my whole post is - getting fit isn't always about the scale. I've obviously lost some inches. These past 2 weeks I've been feeling sorry for myself and here I was changing my body shape without even realizing it! I've learned (although I've always preached to others in the past) that the scale isn't everything - it's about how I'm feeling and how my clothes are feeling. I think I was floating last night after I did up those pants. Those are the moments I need to remember when that scale isn't moving.

Stomach, stomach, go AWAY!

2010-02-18T10:33:00.000-05:00

I swear - I am losing weight off my feet, my boobs, my fingers but this horribly jiggly, saggy stomach is not disappearing. I'd really like to know what I could possibly do to speed up the weight loss in this area. Don't get me wrong - I'd of course do it all again to have kids (which I probably will one more time!). It is just frustrating to see the numbers on the scale go down and look at myself from the side and see what could very well be a 4month pregnant belly!

Enough with the negative talk. I need to be positive! I borrowed the Biggest Loser Cookbook from my sister in law. I've looked through it and made up a list of some of the things I'd like to try. Blueberry pancakes, beef stew, and a brown rice with feta and spinach. I really need to infuse my life with some new, tasty, low fat options. When I get bored, I tend to make my way towards some unhealthy food that is sitting in my cupboards! I'm going to make it my weekly goal to try one new recipe each week.

Anyone else weigh themselves ALL the time? I do! When I jumped on the scale this morning, it was looking good so I'm going to remind myself of that each time an opportunity presents itself to sway off the healthy living. I'm off to Body pump class tonight!

Boo Yah!

2010-02-16T10:15:00.000-05:00

3 lbs down this week! I've broken past that evil 188 mark to end up at 185! I'm super focused right now. I can see my mini goal of reaching the 170's in full sight right now.

The weekend wasn't bad - but not great. We went to the neighbours house for dinner on Sat. night. It is very hard when you have no control over what you are eating. This doesn't happen a whole lot so I didn't beat myself up over it. Then we ordered Chinese food for Valentine's day. Since both my hubby and I normally watch what we eat this was a big treat for us to order out like this. We got the dinner for 5. That's right, I said 5. Not too smart after the fact but we wanted everything! So, I ended up eating Chinese AGAIN last night since we had so many freakin' leftovers!

On a side note - my husband has been actively losing weight since Dec 1st. He has gone from 239 to 213! Can you believe it? I'm very proud of him since he is very much a meat and potato, eat at 10pm at night kind of guy. It makes the journey a lot easier having someone who is eating as you are eating and not bringing evil foods into the house that you can't eat.

I'm off to the gym tonight - excited to burn more fat off this body!

Back in town

2010-02-08T13:13:00.000-05:00

I weighed in at 188 again this week. Considering I was out of town for 4 days and didn't go to the gym once in the past 2 weeks - I'd say I'm doing pretty good.

I am dedicated once again. I made up my weeks supply of steel cut oats last night, bought veggies, and am even making a yummy Weight Watchers recipe for dinner tonight. I have Tues/Thurs already marked on the calendar for my gym nights. I decided I'm going to track all food that enters my mouth this week to ensure that I'm on the wagon 100%.

Happy, healthy eating everyone!

Quick Update

2010-02-01T16:37:00.000-05:00

Well, I knew it was going to be a bad week and the scale doesn't lie (although I frequently wish it did). I weighed in at 188. That's 2lbs up. It seems to be that right now 188 is the number to defeat. If you don't remember, I was that weight just before Christmas and then gained over the holidays. I finally got below it a week ago and then gained right back again. I'm not getting defeated though. I know emotionally it was a very rough week for me. I ate to help with my sadness and loneliness. I'm not ashamed.

Today is the start of a new week. Although I will probably be out of town a few days this week for the funeral (thus no gym and no control over food) I will do the best I can with the few days I might have at home and get right back on it next week.

Missed my weigh in

2010-01-29T13:35:00.000-05:00

I know I missed my Monday post about my weigh in. I lost 2 lbs to reach 186.

Two days ago, my husbands grandpa had a massive heart attack in Barrie. My husband left right away to be at his side and will be there untill at least Sunday. So....I've been emotional eating. I am so sad for my husband and so sad that I can't be there with him. Not to mention my parents are in mexico for 5 weeks so I'm literally all by myself with 2 kids. We've been eating alot of easy stuff. Which more often than not is unhealthy stuff. I can already tell you that Monday's weigh in will not be too successful. With no babysitter and no hubby around I haven't been at the gym since Tuesday. At this point, it really doesn't matter too much to me. I've earned a write-off week.

That's all about my past week. This week is my week to emotional eat. Next week I can pick up where I left off. :o)

My Weekly Mantra

2010-01-18T15:00:00.000-05:00

Stay away from the leftover Christmas chocolate!!!!! That is my goal for this week.

That being said, I weighed in today at 188! Not to mention I weighed in at 1pm after 2 coffees, a litre of water, breakfast and 3/4 of my daughters sammie. I will of course be weighing myself tomorrow in my usual birthday suit first thing in the morning just out of curiosity as to what the real number might be. The reason I didn't this morning was because I went to the gym for 9:30 so I went straight from my pjs to workout clothes and forgot to weigh myself. Breakthrough moment at the gym today - I did ALL of the tricep dips without having to stop at all. HUGE accomplishment for me since I think my triceps are literally the weakest muscle on my body! I'm feeling darn proud right now!

Had my usual steel cut oats for brekkie and along with Ava's sandwich, I had some carrots and dip. I'm thinking tonight I may do salmon with a salad and maybe squash. Dessert will be cut up cantalope.

Today....

2010-01-13T16:51:00.000-05:00

...I feel thin. I look in the mirror and know logically, I'm not and still have 20+ pounds to go. But for some reason I'm feeling really good and I'm running with that feeling.

Weigh In

2010-01-11T10:16:00.000-05:00

Great news, I am down 3 lbs to be at 190. Bad news, I had the flu over the weekend and I think alot of the 3lb loss was the fact that nothing remained in my body (the very little that I did eat). I'm very motivated this week. I missed out on my gym this morning because my mom wasn't available to babysit. Truthfully, I'm not yet feeling 100% so I probably would have skipped it anyway. I still plan to go my other 2 nights this week. I've been doing better on my water too. Not sure if I've reached what I WAS drinking pre-Xmas but I've done so much better. And that is all I can ask for at this point.

Oh! Baby is awake! Gotta go but all the best this week to everyone out there trying to vanish the bulge!

Not too great

2010-01-07T15:01:00.000-05:00

Well, so far the week hasn't been too great. Much better than any day I had in between Dec24-Jan2 but definitely not like the roll I was on before Christmas. The good news is that we decided to go to Mexico at the end of March instead of the beginning so I have 4 weeks longer to reach my goal of being in the 170's.

My usual gym outings are Monday morning, Tuesday and Thursday evening. Well, Monday was my daughters birthday so I didn't go in order to spend that time with her. I did go Tuesday night and I can't go again tonight. We are off to the Blue Collar Comedy. Can't say I'm upset that I'm missing the gym! Hopefully laughter will burn some calories :o)

My eating hasn't been on par either. I did make some steel cut oats last night (which I had for brekkie this morning) so I know breakfast will be healthy for the next few days. I've been eating pretty healthy dinner as well. It is the snacking that is getting the best of me. It is what I am going to work on very hard next week. That and I seem to have forgotten that water exists. Coffee and pop and an occassional glass of water. Starting tomorrow the water will start flowing. One cup of coffee in the morning and then water ALL day.

I do have to admit, all of the above is affecting me. I feel tired, lethargic and I feel fat. When I was eating healthy and exercising I felt energized and I felt good about myself. And I liked feeling that way. The holidays are over and it is time to stop acting like I'm on holidays.

Not so successful

2010-01-03T12:04:00.000-05:00

OK, Christmas was baaaddddd. Very bad. I've weighed in this morning at 193. Yuck. I'm really hoping that some of that (at least a pound or two) is water retention. Tommorrow is a fresh start and I'm hoping on losing 2lbs per week until I go on my trip at the beginning of March. I'll check in here later this week.

Wish me luck!

3 months after starting this journey...

2009-12-21T15:17:00.001-05:00

Down 2 lbs! I'm currently at 188, making my goal of being in the 180's by Christmas. But I'm not stopping there. I am planning on kicking it into high gear this week to hopefully lose another pound or so before Friday. The farther from 190 I am, the better. I have to say, seeing my ticker say "18 pounds until the new me" really scares me. Less than 20lbs to go? Being at goal is scary, even scarier than losing the weight. Because, what is the point of losing it all if I can't maintain the weight loss?

That being said, I really don't think 170 is going to end up being my final weight. I think having two kids by c-section has completely changed my body. I'm holding onto alot more stomach weight than I have before. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, right now my sole focus is gaining the least amount of weight possible over the holidays.

On another note, I'd like to set my next goal. I am going to Mexico at the beginning of March. I'd love to be between 170-175 when I leave. So that is what I will be working at in the New Year, getting bathing suit ready.

This is me when I first started this journey in September at 212lbs. The pictures below were taken last week at 190lbs.

Weekly Weigh In

2009-12-15T13:38:00.000-05:00

Surprise, Surprise! I weighed in Monday morning at 190 lbs! That is 3 lbs down this week. Can't say I did anything spectacular in order to get such a great number but I'm definitely not going to complain!

I do have a confession to make. I was at the mall with the little ones this morning. We thought we'd grab some lunch and I was marching toward Subway. I turned slightly to the right and saw a guy eating poutine. I got one. Bad, bad me. Even though I had great intentions, I should not have taken my eyes off the Subway sign. Lesson learned. I think I'll be sticking to a salad for dinner tonight and hopefully burning some of the poutine off at the gym tonight.

I am one pound away from being at my goal of the 180's by Xmas. With over a week left, I'm hoping I can drop a couple of pounds so that my holiday weight gain won't be so shameful and I can be right around 190ish after the holidays. I don't know about anyone else, but I do not stick to diets during holidays. I will eat fudge and cookies. I will have mashed potatoes and gravy. But I think the most important thing is to just be aware. Stick to one serving of the potatoes. Have one piece of fudge. Try and eat healthy when you can (like at breakfast and lunch) if you know you'll be going a big crazy at dinner. So that is my motto this year for the holidays, be aware of everything going into my mouth.

PMS sucks

2009-12-09T15:15:00.000-05:00

The heading says it all. What else makes you want to consume the contents of your fridge at 9pm? Gives you the appetite of a pregnant woman? The good news is that I think I ate healthy enough yesterday that my handfull of chocolate chips, 2 turkey bites and a bagel shouldn't really affect my week.

Last night hubby had to help out a family member and didn't get home until 8pm which means I missed my Tuesday night at the gym. Thank goodness for snow (did I really say that?). I shoveled this morning and I was sweating by the time I finished so at least I know I got my heartrate up and hopefully burned those chocolate chips off! The bad news is that we've got a crap load more of snow and my efforts have dissappeared. I'm going to have to get out there again today and shovel some more. I thought I was in much better shape that 3 months ago yet my shoulders are killing me from 30 minutes of shoveling this morning. Maybe this is a great addition to my gym routine! I have to think positively since there really is no positives to snow in my opinion! :o)

Monday Weigh In

2009-12-07T13:15:00.001-05:00

Down 2 pounds this week bringing me to 193! I am SO close to the 180's! If I continue on the same path, I should be at least 189 by Christmas. I'm using that as my motivation.

I had quite a revelation yesterday. I added my 3rd day per week at the gym a couple of weeks ago. I go Monday mornings and my mom watches the baby. Yesterday it looked like my mom couldn't babysit this morning. I was actually upset that I might miss today's class and I was even contemplating paying the $5 for the daycare. That is a huge change for me. I usually am secretly happy when something comes up and I am unable to go. To WANT to go (as opposed to going because you have to in order to lose weight)is such a transformation in my mindset. Me? One of those people who likes to go to the gym? I can't say I EVER thought I'd be one of those people!

Bah

2009-12-02T13:10:00.000-05:00

This week I stayed the same at 195. The scale was looking good Saturday morning (because there is no way I can ever wait a week to weigh myself) and not so good after the weekend. I had my family Xmas party on Saturday which equals a ton of food and drink. Then I had a baby shower lunch to go to on Sunday. Again, food and more food. Monday, my mom sent over a ton of leftovers from the Xmas party so I ate those. No surprise that the scale didn't show a loss but yet, I had 5 great days of eating. Why do a couple of meals seem to sabotage a good week? Also, a week that I went 3x to the gym.

No worries everyone. I am trudging on. I've been to the gym twice already this week and have been eating steel cut oats, salad and veggies galore since Tuesday. I will continue on this journey no matter what the damn scale says. I'm off to have a salad with some yummy avocado!

Drum Roll Please!

2009-11-25T09:56:00.000-05:00

And the self induced plateau has ended!!!! I am down 2lbs this week to land at 195. I am so thrilled. Amazing isn't it? Go to the gym, plan out healthy meals and you lose weight? Who would have thought? :o)

I decided that this week I was going to start throwing in an extra day at the gym. My mom is retired so I asked her to come by Monday morning and I went to a 9:30am Pump class. I came home feeling invigorated and positive. It is amazing how just an hour of exercise can start of your day. As long as my mom is available, I am definitely going to continue going Monday mornings. I'm looking forward to seeing how this extra day at the gym will in turn affect my weight loss.

I definitely have to give some props to Body pump at Goodlife Gym. I love, love that class. It's a great class for a fat, lazy person because there is no jumping around. Horrible thought isn't it? But that is definitely what my thoughts were when I started doing this class. Now, I love how strong it makes me feel. I notice differences in my body much faster than if I was just doing aerobics. I also have a great instructor who makes me laugh and makes me push further when I think I can't go on.

2 month update
Since it has been just over 2 months since I started this new lifestyle I thought I would update a bit. I've gone from 212 to 195, size 20 to a size 16. I am no longer out of breath running up the stairs. In fact I could probably run up and down more than once and still be fine! Most importantly, I am no longer a lump on the couch when my kids are sleeping. I get stuff done during afternoon nap and still have energy when they go to bed. You would think losing weight is just that: losing weight. In return, my house has been tidier than previously and I've organized much of my house that was in desperate need of organization. Losing weight has snow balled into all aspects of my life. And I apologize if this is TMI, but even my sex life has improved. When you look in the mirror and are disgusted by what you see it definitely affects what takes place in the bedroom. Losing this weight, being active and watching my body change makes me a happier and more confident person. I can't wait to see what the next 2 months will bring!

Victory!

2009-11-17T13:49:00.000-05:00

Not about my weight loss - or weight maintain. But I went the night without after dinner snacking. Huge, huge victory for me. Not only that, but when I was about to walk over and crack open a bottle of wine for an evening glass, I chose a Diet pepsi and water instead! When I went to bed, I actually felt good about my day for the first time in a really LONG time.

And it doesn't end there. I made split pea soup out of my Weight Watcher cookbook yesterday for my lunches this week. I finally picked up some steel cut oats which everyone seems to rave about. Made that yesterday too for my breakfasts for the rest of the week. I had it this morning with some cut up strawberries. Yummy! I also cut up all my veggies so they are easy to grab and munch throughout the day.

I think my goal of hitting 185 by Christmas is still possible. That would be 2 lbs a week from now until Xmas. Totally doable but I really am not going to punish myself if I don't reach it since it is a tight time frame. I just feel that if you set goals (especially in small increments) it gives you something to work towards and they feel more possible to reach. If I sit here and think, ugh I have 25-40 pounds left to lose then it gets discouraging. A 12 pound loss seems much more attainable.

You know what? After the planning I did and the eating healthy yesterday, I am in a great mood today! I really think that I am back on track after veering off slightly for a bit. Off to go have my soup!

Self Induced Plateau

2009-11-11T09:41:00.000-05:00

OK. My weight is the same. 197. A bit frustrating but I will not use that as an excuse to give up. Because this is a way of life, not a diet, right? I had a great week last week. I only went once to the gym because hubby needed to work late on my other gym night. I ate yummy salads and healthy breakfasts. Then came the weekend. My mother bought McDonalds for me and Ava on Friday for lunch. I know I could have ordered some healthy thing but the smell of french fries got the best of me. Saturday night some friends came over for a girls night and chips were involved (on a side note, I have serious issues with chips. I HAVE to eat the whole bag. They are like my drug of choice. This is the FIRST time I have eaten them since I started this journey on Sept 21st so I feel like it was justified). Sunday morning we met friends at Broadwayy for breakfast. Who on earth can deny themselves Broadway homefries????? As you can probably guess, not me.

So I shouldn't have been overly surprised when I jumped on the scale and it still said 197. When I did poorly, I over ate with things loaded in sodium. I guess I just thought my week went well enough that I might even have a 1lb loss. Don't worry though, I'm over it and have been eating well so far this week. No more giving up when a day (or weekend) gets the best of me.

I did not go to the gym last night. Apparently there was some sort of instructors conference and all classes were cancelled. So instead, I pulled out the Wii Fit. It had been 18 days since I last used it! I pushed myself on it and did the long distance run instead of the short run like I usually do. I did the 6 minute rhythm boxing instead of the 3 min (boy did my arms feel it). I also got in 32oz of water in the 3 hours after my kids went to bed (plus a glass of wine :o) which I put into my daily calculations).

Today:
Brekkie:
coffee with cream and sweetner
fat free strawberry yogurt with cut up banana and flax sprinkled on top

Lunch
Salad with chickpeas, green peppers, tomatoes and a fat free or low fat dressing
3 clementines

Dinner
Unknown - we are headed to the Trans Siberian Orchestra and are meeting friends for dinner beforehand. I'm keeping my daily food light to make up for that.

Another day, Another post

2009-11-04T15:34:00.000-05:00

Here I am again. I'm letting you know, I did go to the gym last night. I also did indulge in those 3 mini chocolate bars!

I have input my food for today, including dinner. I even plan on doing the Wii Fit for 30 minutes tonight.

Brekkie - 3 clementines (I know, not a great breakfast but after Ava left for nursery school I got very busy doing some cleaning and much needed organizing), 2 coffees with sweetner and cream
Lunch - turkey soup with 6 unsalted saltine crackers, source yogurt
Dinner - meat lasagna with as much garden salad as I like
Snacks - I've added in for an evening snack of hummus and one pita

As promised

2009-11-03T13:23:00.000-05:00

Here I am today like I said I would. I've already recorded my foods for today. I even have a couple hundred left over since I am headed to the gym tonight as well. I almost never eat the extra calories earned by exercising. I'd rather eat within my appointed calorie range and then be able to splurge every so often. According to my calorie counter program, if I eat like today every day, I will be at 182 in 5 weeks! If that's not motivation, I don't know what is!

Well, I'm off to eat my toasted tomato sandwich for lunch! I will be taking my water bottle out of the fridge as well.

*side note: I did count 3 mini chocolate bars in my daily calorie count JUST in case I happen to want to indulge!*

Darn

2009-11-02T20:18:00.000-05:00

My weight stayed the same this week. I thought for SURE it would go down since I made it back to the gym twice this week after a 2 week sickness hiatus. Then I recalled all the leftovers from the baptism last weekend that I ate over the week. Meatballs, chicken and rice, little sandwiches (yum yum). Hmmmm....think that had anything to do with it????? Lesson learned. Next time I host something, send people home with leftovers and keep only a small amount for hubby.

Second reason for the weight stall would be my lack of journaling. My thoughts and food journaling. My best weeks were when I checked in here regularily. I also tracked all morsels of food. I got a lovely email from myfitnesspal letting me know it had been over a week since I had logged in. I need to make this time for myself in order to be successful and reach my goal of 185 by Christmas.

Starting tomorrow my goals for the week are:
-drink water ( my water bottle sat in the fridge for 4 DAYS without being touched)
-go to the gym 2x
-squeeze in Wii Fit 2x
-eat salads for lunch since I bought a whack of salad ingredients today
-track my foods DAILY on myfitnesspal.com

Weigh In

2009-10-27T15:43:00.000-04:00

I cheated a bit. I weighed in yesterday at 202. That's 2 pounds up from last weigh in. That was after Ella's christening weekend where we had guests all weekend (meaning breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast for three mornings in a row). I think the only thing I drank all weekend was coffee, diet pop and wine! So I wasn't surprised at all when I was up yesterday. High sodium foods and no water = bloat. So I jump on the scale this morning after drinking a ton of water yesterday and eating lots of fruits and veggies and I was at 197! So I think I am going to count Tuesday's weigh in instead of Monday's since it is more of a true respresentation of my weight. And it makes me feel better than 202 :o)

My next goal I want to reach is 189 and it is only 8 lbs away! I am so happy that this maternity leave weight loss strategy is going so much better that the last time around. It took me over a year to lose 30lbs after Ava. I'm already at half of that and it has only been 5 weeks. Better late than never, right?

I just spent an hour walking around the pumpkin patch with a 15lb baby strapped to my chest. I'm hoping I burned a bunch of calories since I indulged in a pumpkin cookie made by a friend.

Breakfast - Source yogurt and slice of WW toast, pumpkin cookie
Lunch - Ava's leftover meatballs (the pumpkin patch was a last minute idea so i didn't have time to make a salad)
Dinner - a nice salad full of cucumber, green peppers, avacado and I'm going to throw in some cottage cheese and leftover ham from the weekend.

Too Long!

2009-10-21T14:24:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've posted. We've all been sick here in our household and I just haven't had the energy to sit here at the computer. I did weigh in on Monday and was another 2 lbs down. That is a grand total of 12 pounds since I started this journey one month ago. I have to say that I peeked at the scale this morning and it is looking good for my next weigh in too.

I've made a mini goal of reaching 25lbs lost by Christmas. That's another 13 pounds in about 10 weeks. Completely achievable. I kind of hate normally setting goals like that. My typical goals are "get out of the 200's", then "get out of the 190's" and so on. But I have faith in myself this time that I CAN stick to this healthy eating for another 10 weeks. After all, I plan to stick to it for the rest of my life, right?

I'm going to try out these steel-cut oats that another blogger friend of mine recently tried. I've heard that they are SUPER healthy and fabulous but have not tried them to date since it is a breakfast I have to cook. Not so easy when you need to get yourself and two kids ready each morning. My friend cooks up a batch each Sunday and then has brekkie on hand for the whole week. I'll let you know what I think of them :o)

OH! Baby crying , gotta run! I'll try to update a little more this week!

Surprise, Surprise!

2009-10-14T15:13:00.000-04:00

Since I was out of town this weekend I did my weigh in Tuesday morning. I stayed the same! So what, no weight loss. Don't care. All I care about is that I actually made it through a weekend away from home and gained nothing! I will admit I had a cookie dough, crispy crunch blizzard (and damn was it worth it) but I ate my oatmeal every morning that I brough from home. I also limited myself to one plate of food (I had 2 thanksgiving dinners this weekend). If I went back for seconds, it was for more veggies or bean salad. All in all, pretty successful.

I can see my body changing. It is by no means a pleasant sight, but it is encouraging. It has been a long, long, time since I have really dedicated myself to losing weight and exercising and it feels good. I have a birthday party and baptism to attend this weekend so I'm really going to focus on being good this week to make up for the probability of cake and buffet food :o)

The Evil Weekend

2009-10-08T16:14:00.000-04:00

Just a quick update since I'm super busy. Anyone who is trying to lose weight is dreading this weekend. I am so nervous since we will be out of town and I will be unable to control what food I eat. BUT, I can control the amount and that will be my main goal.

Have a great long weekend everyone!

Much to my surprise.....

2009-10-05T11:56:00.001-04:00

.....I am down another 4 pounds!!!

Must do better, Must do better

2009-10-03T15:24:00.000-04:00

That's my mantra. I admit, I've let things slide this week. It started with only being able to go to the gym once this week due to commitments. Then, the lack of healthy food in my house. This largely in part to the weather. Hubby has 2 outdoors jobs on the go which he hasn't been able to finish due to all the rain. No paycheque from the breadwinner in 3 weeks makes for a strapped for cash Casey household. So, I've been snacking on not so great things instead of fresh veggies.

Tomorrow is a new day. Now that we'll have some cash, I'm going grocery shopping and picking up carrots and cucumbers and all sorts of wonderful nourishment for my body. As I'm sitting here writing this, I'm vowing to get straight on the wii fit after my kids go to bed tonight. It may not be an hour at the gym, but any sort of activity is calories burned, right?

Truthfully (because if I can't be truthful here - where can I be?), I've been a bit down about weight loss the past couple of days. You spend 7 straight days of eating well and incorporating exercise into your life and you lose such a small amount at the end of that week. It just seems like the journey will take forever. Yes, yes, I know rationally that weight loss/maintenance is a lifelong thing for me but that small part of your brain that causes you to eat emotionally puts all sorts of doubts in your head.

It brought me back to 7th grade. A boy in my class repeatedly called me fat that year. There were 2 girls in my class that, no lie, were 2-3 times bigger than me. Never a comment to them. One even sat right beside me. God, I look back at the pictures of me in grades 7,8,9 and I think I looked perfect. I'd LOVE to be that size again. Was it those comments in Gr. 7 that led me to believe that I was fat, so why not emotionally eat and actually be fat?

I don't think I'll actually ever know but I am determined to become the beautiful, sexy woman that my husband has always proclaimed me to be. I have another 1.5 days until my official weigh in and I am not going to waste that time. Even if I only lose .5 lbs this week I WILL celebrate it.

....and thanks to this blog, I suddenly feel so much better about this journey.

Who knew I'd be happy about that?

2009-09-29T13:59:00.000-04:00

So last night, Ava wanted to do "races". It basically involved running around the main floor of our house after Ava since she always has to win. I totally looked at it as unexpected cardio so when my husband collapsed on the couch I continued to race with her. And you know what? My pants were falling down! The jeans that when I put them on a month ago made me have huge muffin tops! I was so happy my pants were falling down! lol

My evening wasn't stellar last night. We had a last minute overnight guest and we ended up eating really late since he was late coming in from New Brunswick. I was so ravenous, I scarfed down a ton of food. But this morning, I entered everything in myfitnesspal.com and surprisingly, I didn't go over my daily intake.

I'm not sure what it is that is making me so determined and motivated to lose weight. Maybe it has to do with my network of friends who are also going through the same things as me. It is so reassuring to hear someone else's story and know that there are others that feel exactly the same as you. Or maybe it is the fact that I'm getting older and I know the weight will only be harder to get off in time. Or perhaps, it is my 2 girls who mean the world to me and I would hate to see them have this life long struggle. Maybe I can change their perception of food, themselves and their body by being a living example.

I'm off to the Gym tonight to do my FAVOURITE class ever - Body Jam. I'm also going to try to squeeze in some Wii Fit this week.

Terrible Weekend

2009-09-28T13:45:00.000-04:00

I know I lost 5 lbs over the past week but boy, was my weekend terrible. I have come down with a cold so eating a salad did not interest me at all. Kraft dinner did. And tortellini. With not only Parmesan cheese but Asiago cheese. Way to go. But my motto is, there is always tomorrow. My slate is clean today and I will make the most of it.

We have some out of town guests for the evening. Lasagna, caesar salad and garlic bread are on the menu. As well as a few beverages I'm sure. I don't know about anyone else but I hate to make guests eat diet food along with me. Unless it is a really fabulous recipe. The visit is last minute and with 2 young kids, I didn't have the time to scout one out. I'm going to try and eat pretty light today to combat my high cal dinner. No gym this evening for me either but I'm totally counting the 45 minutes of vaccuming I did this morning. Sweat was pouring down my face so I'd say I burned some calories.

On another note, I finally opened my Wii Fit. Really scary. I am obese and my Wii Fit age is 46!!!! My BMI is way off the charts too. So I think my overall goal will to be at a healthy BMI and not focus on the number on the scale as much.

Check In

2009-09-28T11:56:00.002-04:00

5lbs down! YAY!

Change of Plans

2009-09-26T11:21:00.003-04:00

OK, I've decided to sort of change the idea for this blog. Following an old friend, I have been inspired to start blogging my weight loss. I officially started my journey on September 21st (weird enough my wedding anniversary) and have been pretty consistant all week except for lunch today which was Kraft Dinner. But after my one bowl, I immediately put the leftovers in the fridge so i wouldn't be tempted into having any more.

I'm a little disappointed about my weight. I lost weight after having Ava and was down to 180 lbs. I then quit smoking (yet again) and my weight slowly creeped up. A year after I quit smoking and got pregnant, I was at 210lbs. I am proud of my eating throughout my pregnancy though. A month before I had Ella, I had only gained 22lbs. My last month I gained 25lbs but it was due to pre-eclympsia (sp?) so I like to not count that. Within 2.5 weeks after Ella's birth, I was only 2lbs above that pre-pregnancy weight. So at least I am starting this journey no higher than I was almost 2 years ago.

Here's what I have done so far:

-joined Goodlife Gym, my fav gym if I were to love the gym :o) and go at least 2x per week
-joined myfitnesspal.com to track my caloric intake and exercise
-drinking 32oz a day of water (after having a baby, it seems like coffee is the main source of drink so this water is a big deal in my life)
-switch from double double in my coffee to sweetner and double cream (hey, I have to have some vice)
-eat salads for lunch with some sort of protein in it
-cut out the rice or potatoes at dinner, limit it to once per week for each item
-switch from regular beer to light beer. Maybe a weird thing to note but we do get together with our neighbours often for a beer or two so any way to lighten the calorie load is a good thing.
-got a haircut and some new clothes to make me feel pretty even at this weight and start me off on the journey

I'll be sure to update on a regular basis. My weigh in is on Monday and I'm feeling pretty hopeful that the scale will reflect that.

It's been a while

2009-06-28T21:21:00.002-04:00

OK. So I've been away from this for a while. I just had my second beautiful daughter, Ella, on May 29th. It is so weird saying "kids" now. The transition has pretty smooth but I can't lie, it hurts every morning dragging my butt out of bed in order to get up with Ava. I keep telling myself that this too shall pass. One day Ella will sleep more at night and I may feel refreshed in the morning.

Tomorrow is the first official day that i am at home with both kids by myself. Well, if the weather is nice in the morning my parents are taking Ava strawberry picking. heehee. So I guess I can't really count tomorrow. I really need to sit down and figure out a daily schedule for us. I want to try to do as much as I can with her in the mornings so she has great naps every afternoon. Not to mention, I feel kind of guilty about taking her out of daycare where she had a ton of friends and did tons of things every day. Luckily, I do have a friend who just had a baby and her eldest daughter and Ava are buddies. Hopefully we will be able to squeeze in lots of paydates

2007-05-06T19:27:00.000-04:00

Oh my god. I can finally get into my blog again! I am on my parents computer so i wonder if the problem was my own computer for some reason. I am now mortgage free! And house free I might add too. We moved out of our house April 28th. It was sad. This was the house where Ava was born and where all of our hopes and dreams started. I think I wouoldn't have been so sad if I had been moving right into my new house. But here we are, in limbo at my parents for a month. I can't really complain to much. Or at all. It is great having my parents around. They are overjoyed to feed her and play with her.

I feel so out of touch being here at my parents. I am checking my email online but for whatever reason I can't access my address book. So unless you email me, I have no way of reaching you!

2007-02-10T11:29:00.000-05:00

2007-02-10T11:07:00.000-05:00

We took Ava to Cosmic Adventures the other week. So much fun! I highly recommend it. She got to interact with so many kids. Also took Ava on the canal. She hated it!!! Needless to say, it was not a good time when your baby is screaming for 45 minutes. Very stressful. A woman at my work (who also has a 1 year old) told me her baby hates to be bundled up. I think that may be the issue. We took her out to play in the snow and she cried then too! oh well. Hopefully winter will be over sooner rather than later.

Our house has officially sold! YAY! No more showings, no more keeping it spotless! Now, we are so excited for the new house. I'll post a picture on the progress. I'll be going to check it out this weekend sometime so hopefully there is even more progress. We have until Feb. 19th to be informed if they are going to be delayed so keep your fingers crossed until then!

Ava is getting baptized on Feb. 25th. We have to go to church tomorrow for the welcoming mass and then a parents information night on Tuesday. I'm really dreading it. I know that sounds horrible but I can't imagine keeping her still for that long!

Oh, and I wanted to update on my kitty cat Chloe. We almost had to put her down in September because she had fatty liver disease. She is perfect now! All she needed was some TLC and some force feeding! I call her my little miracle kitty since the vet told us that our chances were slim. I am so thankful that we didn't fork out the $1200 for the operation or put her down. Sometimes positive thinking really does help I guess.

2007-01-14T20:24:00.000-05:00

2007-01-14T20:10:00.000-05:00

Wow. So I've been back to work for a week now. The working part isn't too bad and it would have been an OK week (as good as going back to work can be) except that Ava has been sick since Monday. She has a horrible cold which she got from daycare the week before. I don't think she has ever been this sick. My baby girl who is ALWAYS laughing and smiling and never cries (and I'm not exagerrating) was crying all week. Boy do I symapthize with parents who have a colic child. Ava never cries unless she falls and hurts herself so it's been pretty hard to come home after work and spend 3 hours with a crying child. It's hard on her and on me. Hopefully within the next couple of days she will be back to her old, happy self.

This new stage in my life is really weird. I feel like I am going from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. I wake up and go to work. Then I come home and feed Ava and ourselves. Then I play with Ava, put her to bed, make my lunch, clean up from dinner, tidy up the house (since it's still up for sale) and go to bed. And squeeze in the gym 3x a week. It is crazy but when I put my head down on the pillow, I feel so satisfied with my life. I don't know what it is. Don't get me wrong, I would give up work in a second to be home. I joked with Fraser tonight that we need to have another baby right now so I can get another year off. I guess I feel since my time is limited with Ava that I really have serious quality time with her. I don't do anything else but spend that 2 hours with her. No laundry, no dishes, no tidying up her toys, nothing. All that stuff waits until after she goes to bed.

Mommies, enjoy your down time now because once you are back at work it doesn't exist!!!!

2007-01-04T10:24:00.000-05:00

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY AVA!!!!

2007-01-03T10:46:00.000-05:00

Where does the time go????? Tommorrow, at 9:51 am my baby is going to be one year old! I can't believe it! Only 4 more days off of work too. This week, Ava has been going to the babysitters for a few hours each morning. The first day was a little rough but today was much better. Although when I went to get Ava, she wouldn't let go of me and was laying her head on my shoulder. Pulls at the heart strings.....

Christmas was awesome! Ava got so spoiled! We have toys in every corner of the house. Hopefully she'll get a bunch of clothes for her birthday. I don't think I can handle having to take any more toys out of the package. They really twist tie the toys in there good.

This Saturday is Ava's birthday party. I've been stressed this week trying to get everything done. I decided to make her an Elmo cake and I am having second thoughts now. I wonder if I took on too much (party, christmas, open houses). Ah well. I'll post a picture if it turns out!

2006-12-18T09:19:00.000-05:00

Yay! I saw this ticker on a friends blog and thought it was so cute. It took me quite a while to figure out how to put it in my blog but I finally did it! I'm very proud of myself!

I just realized that I forgot to pick up a gift certificate for someone for Christmas. Oops. I have to run out today and grab that up! I also have to make another batch of my toblerone fudge to replace the stuff I've been nibbling at the past couple of weeks. I can feel my waistline expanding already. Last but not least, I have to finish the scrapbook for my sister in law. Thank goodness we are only doing my family Christmas on the 30th so I don't feel too panicked about that.

Over the weekend we had two parties to go to. Our friend Jay turned 32 and he had a gathering at a local pub. Fraser and I both woke up Saturday morning with headaches! Needless to say it was a good night. Saturday night we went around the block to my friends Christmas party. Good night there too. She goes to her ultrasound on Thursday. I think it's a boy but she says most people think the baby is a girl. We'll see soon!

All this partying has definitely shown me that the socializing (other than sitting in my living room) is alot of fun but I don't really miss it too much. I feel like my life has slowed down alot and I'm enjoying it more. I like it.

2006-12-14T22:52:00.000-05:00

Christmas is so close. Does anyone else feel strangely detached from Christmas because of the weather we've been having? I heard on the news that this day last year was -25. Don't get me wrong. I've been loving these warm temperatures. Especially when it is so time consuming to dress a baby to go out in cold weather. But on the other hand, I do hope there is at least a little bit of white stuff on the ground for the 25th. My in laws, who are in Muskoka, have already plowed their driveway multiple times. It's funny how close we are yet the weather varies so much between the two cities.

Spoke to my boss today. I'm officially going to be back at work January 8th. Everyday I have been looking at Ava and almost been in tears knowing that once I'm back at work I will only have a precious 2 hours a day with her. It's heartbreaking. But, my last name isn't Rockafeller so I gotta do what needs to be done to give Ava a good life.

2006-12-04T13:57:00.000-05:00

Oops. I guess I already wrote about Ava taking her first steps and I even got the date wrong! It was November 18th.

2006-12-04T13:48:00.000-05:00

Totally jinxed myself. The house deal fell through. It was a young couple who needed their parents to co-sign for their mortgage and her dad thought they were spreading themselves too thin (we have an old furnace that will need replacing in the next few years). Apparently even their $1000 deposit cheque bounced! Anyway, as of Thursday it was back on the market and we've already got someone coming tomorrow for a second viewing. Think good thoughts everyone! I want this house sold before I go back to work!

On another note, I am pissed with doctors. My friend with the uterine pains had an ultrasound a month ago. They JUST called her to tell her there is a problem. Can you believe that? And my friend even called about 2 1/2 weeks after the ultrasound (since she hadn't heard anything) and was told that they don't call you if everything is fine. So all this time she is thinking she is OK! And the nurse on the phone says that she can't control when the doctors review the results. As if!!! Maybe that doctor has too many patients then and is not concerned about quality care.

Ava took her 1st steps on Nov 27th! I'm so excited that she took them before I went back to work and I didn't miss them.

More bad news.....they haven't even started digging for our new house yet. Looks like our closing date of April 30th isn't going to be happening.

For everyone that has young kids

2006-11-23T22:56:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azgBhZfcqaQ

2006-11-22T16:17:00.000-05:00

Our house finally sold. Well, as of this Saturday. It's conditional upon financing and house inspection. I am not going to clean for the next month. I'm ready to throw my vacuum cleaner out the window! I've probably cleaned more in the past two months than i have all year!

Another wonderful thing has happend. Ava has taken her first steps! It's so exciting yet at the same time, it makes her more of a little person and the "baby" is slowly disappearing. She waves and says hi and bye, she has 4 teeth, she goes up and down stairs. Sigh.......my little girl is growing up.

6.5 weeks of maternity leave left. I would never have thought that a year could fly by but it really can. I am sad that I have to leave my daughter but I have accepted it and am thoroughly enjoying every last minute of being at home. I don't know my exact date of returning to work (as I'm holding off as long as possible talking to my boss) but at least I'll have the holidays off.

My pregnant friend is doing great. She actually went with a midwife (but to deliver in a hospital). We chatted yesterday at lunch about names and all the pregnancy symptoms. She's going with more traditional names like Patrick, Lauren, Danielle, Nathan. I'm excited that one of my friends is finally having a baby and I won't be the only one.

My Future Home

2006-10-19T20:16:00.000-04:00

2006-10-19T20:12:00.000-04:00

My little girl who's crawling around like crazy now. Sniff, sniff. They grow so fast!

2006-10-18T11:59:00.000-04:00

I guess it's never a good thing to start a post with not too much to say. We went back to Phoenix last night to sign for our upgrades ($2,500!!!) and review all of our colours. I have to say that after reviewing things, I am very happy with my choices. I was really nervous the first time we went because it was all just so much.

My best friend and her hubby are buying in the same development as us which will be nice. They were eyeing the lot next to us, for 3 months I might add, but because they had procrastinated so much the lot was taken. I have to say I am a little glad. It would have been great in some aspects. Like when they had little ones we could sit outside on a Friday night and just bring our monitors out with us. But I think it just would have been a little much. I think we might have felt obligated to do things with them ALL the time. Now they are about 10 houses away which is just perfect!

I'm considering getting a puppy. Am I crazy? The way I figure it, the puppy would be housetrained (in my main floor hardwood house) and would be good to go in our new house which is all carpet. Also, I am off now so I could dedicate more time to that training. Ava takes enough naps throughout the day that neither my daughter nor my dog would feel neglected. We'll see how things go after i talk to the breeder!

Long time no blog

2006-10-09T19:59:00.000-04:00

Whew. I know it's been a long time. Sorry!

Update on my cat. She has something called fatty liver. It means that for some reason or another (stress due to all the furniture removal or work being done at the house or my other kitty Phoebe eating all the food) Chloe did not eat for a couple of days. After a couple of days, her body started living off the fat in her body and liver problems started. Apparently when they have this condition, they no longer have an appetite and slowly starve to death. It would have cost $1000 for an ultrasound, biopsy (to confirm diagnosis) and then a stomach tube inserted. Fraser and I opted not to pay that amount as we just bought a new house and have a child to think of. Our only option was to try and force feed her until her liver started working again and then she'd hopefully start eating on her own eventually. Well, I am happy to say that as of Saturday, Chloe started eating on her own! She has her spunk back as well. Although I am waiting for a "I told you so" from Fraser (who really was the one rejecting the treatment) I am just so thrilled that my kitty is on the mend.

As for my friend, she did end up getting her period (which was 3 weeks late), the doctor had scheduled an ultrasound for her and she is going to be keeping that appointment. She says she still has cramping and is wondering if maybe she has cysts or something like that. Her appontment is in the next 2 weeks so hopefully all goes well.

Our house still has not sold!

http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?vd=&SearchURL=%3fPage%3d2%26Mode%3d0%26vs%3d1%26rlt%3d%26cp%3d%26pt%3d0%26mp%3d225000-250000-0%26mrt%3d-1-0-0%26Beds%3d0-0%26Baths%3d0-0%26f%3d%26ft%3dall%26o%3dA%26of%3d1%26ps%3d10%26ptgid%3d1%26aid%3d3050%26MapURL%3d%253fAreaID%253d3050&Mode=0&PropertyID=5064741

There is my house if anyone wants to see it! I don't think the pictures make the house look as good as it really is. We've had lots of walkthoughs though so I'm hoping we can sell within the next month.

My poor kitty

2006-09-18T23:09:00.000-04:00

My cat, Chloe, is very sick. We noticed on the weekend that Chloe had lost a lot of weight. This morning I started to get worried because she seemed very lethargic. I took her to the vet this afternoon and the vet said it was very serious. Apparently she has jaundice which indicates a problem with her liver. They took a blood and urine sample and I should find out more on Tuesday. I hate this. I love my cats to death. Not to mention she is only 4 years old. I called my husband from my cell while they were taking her blood. I couldn't stop bawling my eyes out. The thing with animals is, how much are you going to spend? I hate, hate, hate that it comes down to money especially when this person is a family member. But, just for the tests and some antibiotics it cost me $300 today.

Please, please pray for my kitty......

I'll update tomorrow when I know more.

AHHHHH!!!!

2006-09-14T21:41:00.000-04:00

My husband called me today and said our real estate agent is coming on Tuesday to do a final walk through and sign the papers to put our house up for sale. Funny enough, after that conversation my left eye started twitching and hasn't stopped. I'm guessing my body is telling me I am stressed?!?!?!?!?

On another note, I am very concerned for my best friend. Her period is 2 weeks late, she took a test and it was negative. She went to the doctors and they are doing a blood test. She is so sure that she is not pregnant (due to the fact that they use condoms and I truthfully don't know anyone who has got pregnant while using condoms properly), and she thinks she would know if she was preggo. She told me she has had nausea, fatigue and cramping. I think she is in very bad denial. Buuutttt, there is a part of me that believes she isn't either and that makes me worried that there is a problem. I'm going to be so nervous until I hear the verdict.

I just have to say, I love TV. It is so sad, but I don't know what I would do without it! I got so excited about Survivor tonight and then I saw a commercial that Amazing Race starts on Sunday! WooHoo! No wonder I'm fat! I'm a total couch potatoe!

Jiggly Jelly

2006-09-08T12:23:00.000-04:00

That would refer to my stomach. I'm telling you, I got such horrible stretch marks. As you can see from the picture (4 days before baby was born) I was so huge that I think my stomach actually looks fake. So now my stomach is a stretch mark jiggly mess. And as I lose weight, it seems like it just looks worse instead of better. My dear husband, bless his heart, told me last night that my stomach shows what a proud mom I am. I was almost in tears. Sometimes I need to hear something like that to remind me that my daughter is so much more important than having a flat, smooth stomach. It's really so insignificant but I guess as a woman, it's just one of those things we cry about.

Weight loss is actually going really well for me. I am 17lbs down as of today. I'm actually 7 lbs lighter than I was pre pregnancy. Still about 28lbs to go, but I'm slowly making my way to the half way mark.

I'm also starting to get that baby itch again. Seeing all my pregnant friends makes me really miss being pregnant. I'd love to have another one soon but then I think of the cost of two babies in daycare full time and it snaps me back to reality!

Well, I'm off to the cottage this weekend. Hopefully the weather holds out!

Blah

2006-09-07T14:35:00.000-04:00

So my weekend was great. We went to Muskoka for Friday to Monday. It was hubby's grandparents 50th anniversary party. What an accomplishment. Although I know I will be with hubby forever, 50 years married seems like a heck of a long time! Overall the weekend was so much fun. I got a pair of those Crocs. They are kinda ugly but SO comfortable. I tell you, I wish I had a pair when I was pregnant. I would have lived in them!

The baby was so cranky this weekend. Friday night it took me until 2am to get her to sleep. I guess she is now old enough to realize she is in a place that isn't home. At the party, there were so many people (strangers to her) that were in her face talking to her that she spent the whole time screaming. It was so stressful.

And now I have a cold. Yuck. I feel pretty crummy and having to take care of a child while I'm sick isn't too great either. All I want to do is curl up on the couch and watch TV, but Daughter won't allow that of course! She wants to play!

Well, I'm off to see if I can nap while she is!

Getting Ready for the Sale

2006-08-24T22:53:00.000-04:00

My husband and I bought a new house. We are so thrilled. It has two car garage and is almost 600 square feet bigger than our current shoe box. YAY! The stress now is selling our current home. And worse.....getting the house ready for show. I have so much crap to go through and cleaning to do. You don't realize all the things you overlook in your everyday life. The dust on the baseboards, the dirt and fingerprints on the front door, etc. OK, so most people might have noticed these things and dealt with them, but I am not a fan of cleaning. Husband noticed the other day that you can see the outline of the Christmas decals that I had on our patio door. He seemed shocked that I had not cleaned the window since Christmas. Oops.

The most exciting thing is going to be that everything will be new and finished!!!! We bought this house as a fixer upper so the past 2 years have been living in a state of renovation. This new one will be brand new with no work needing to be done but paint. Ahhhh, the bliss.

So whats on the menu for tomorrow? Cleaning. I will be the one person who is not chearing TGIF. I'll be saying "damn, I wish it was Monday and all the cleaning was done".

Workin Girl

2006-08-23T12:11:00.000-04:00

So now is the time to start thinking about work after maternity leave. It sucks. I technically still have 4 months left but if I am to look for a new job instead of going back to the old one, I have to do that in the next two months. I really, really don't want to. How do moms do this? Entrust your most precious possession to someone else? I know of lots of people who were looking forward to going back but I'm just not one of them. I love the freedom I have to do whatever the heck I want to in a day.

The other reason I dread going back to work is that I feel I have no direction. I'm one of those people who hasn't found their passion yet. I haven't figured out what I want to do for a career. It's very frustrating. I have a husband and friends who are doing what they have dreamed about for 10 years. How do I find out what I am meant to do? Or do I spend my life just working a job instead of building a career?

The First One

2006-08-23T00:05:00.000-04:00

Wow. I'm officially a blogger now. I know a few people who have blogs (that I read regularily) who I don't see on a regular basis. I love how I can keep up with whats going on in their lives without speaking with them. Sounds kinda lazy I know but we all have busy lives right?

I guess I will tell a little about myself in this first entry. I am 26, have an 8 month old daughter and have been married for almost 4 years. My life is great but it certainly has its ups and downs.

I know this is kinda short but it's very late and I don't want to get too far into anything. I'll write more tomorrow.